The world can’t get enough of Tay- myself included!
And it got me thinking- is there a deeper reason behind our fascination?
The answer? Yes.
Our fascination is a sign of our own desire for more balance.
And we can learn a lot from her on creating balance.
Why we don’t want work-life balance
Taylor might not be the first person that comes to mind when you think of “balance”.
After all, she is a mega popstar with a busy schedule.
And we tend to think of balance as some form of work-life balance: A balance between work and rest; family and job; structure and spontaneity.
Our daily lives are a constant effort to attain this balance.
And most of the time, we feel like failures because our days simply become a monotonous string of endless “sameness”.
We wakeup — get ourself and kids ready for the day — go to work — come home — eat dinner — get ourself and kids ready for bed — go to sleep — do it all over again — and repeat forever (or so it seems!).
And I’m not saying that we should all strive for a life like Taylor’s.
What I am saying is that we’re missing part of the equation; a part that Taylor seems to have mastered:
Fulfillment.
You see, in our constant effort to achieve work-life balance, we’re often left exhausted.
We’re trying to do everything and be everything, and fulfill every role and obligation, and sometimes, we forget to fulfill ourselves.
So our search for work-life balance actually becomes working at home and working at work. And I don’t see any balance in that. Do you?
What we’re really looking for is a balance between things that we have to do with things that we want to do — that is, things that fulfill us.
Because if we’re constantly doing things that we have to do, we’re going to burn-out. And we often do.
And what we see in Taylor is an example of someone who clearly works hard, and who also seems to enjoy herself.
Why? Because she is doing something that fulfills her.
So start thinking about what would fulfill you.
Do you want to find a job that is more fulfilling? Do you want to quit work altogether and spend time with your family? Do you want to find a creative outlet and nurture a passion?
Then, decide on one small step that you can take this week to work towards that.
Maybe you can spend time creating a list of your passions and interests, in order to figure out what might fulfill you.
Maybe you can take a look at your finances and figure out what quitting your job might mean financially.
Maybe you can look at your calendar and find 30 minutes next week to focus on a hobby or creative pursuit.
Just take one step.
Shifting our energy to find balance
Taylor herself has admitted that her life is planned out years in advance.
And she is ok with that because that is what she chose.
But what strikes me is how she is able to show up *presently* for all of her commitments and still continue to create art.
We’ve seen her ability showcased in how she shows up for her eras tour concerts, remains present with her audiences, gives fully of herself, shows up bright-eyed to football games, creates new music, spends time with friends and family, does interviews, photoshoots, and on and on.
Why is this significant?
Because most people favor either their creative side or their structured side.
Taylor has found a balance of both.
Her life is structured, but she is still able to be creative, show up rested, and be present with her emotions.
You see, we are all a mix of feminine and masculine energies.
The feminine represents creativity, rest, and emotional connection, among other things.
The masculine represents structure, planning, and productivity, among other things.
But many people are imbalanced in one or both sides.
What does an imbalance look like?
An imbalance in your feminine energy looks like:
Having trouble staying consistent
Getting distracted easily
Losing energy and motivation quickly
Struggling to speak up for yourself
Struggling to make decisions
Letting other people walk all over you
People-pleasing and procrastinating
Struggling to keep a consistent schedule
Playing victim when you are stressed or overwhelmed
Lack of planning/making commitments
Relying on substances or social media to escape your reality
Crying often or feeling sad/depressed often
Sleeping too much
An imbalance in your masculine looks like:
Working a lot and finding your value only through work
Getting caught in a cycle of burn-out and high achievement
Not resting enough, even when you know you should
Not taking time to reflect, journal, meditate, etc.
Being out of touch with your emotions
Feeling a heaviness or dissatisfaction about your life, but ignoring it
Taking on a lot of responsibilities and feeling overwhelmed
Feeling frustrated and angry much of the time
Lashing out at your loved ones
Blaming others for your unhappiness/not asking for help
Communicating aggressively or not at all
Not sleeping enough
Prioritizing work/achievement over family/friends/hobbies
If any of these items resonate, then you may be in an energy imbalance.
The good news is that energy can be shifted when you have the right tools and when you make different decisions.
The first step is acknowledging that something is off.
Next, figure out what needs to change in order for you to feel happier.
Identify a few items from the lists above and decide on one or two actions that you can take now, to change them.
If you find that you are crying a lot or angry a lot, maybe you start journaling your feelings for 5 minutes a few times a week.
If you aren’t happy with your life, maybe you take 30 minutes this weekend to research therapists or coaches to help you.
If you are burned-out, maybe you decide on something that you need help with, and then plan to talk to your partner or your boss.
Just take one step.
Alignment
See, our fascination with Taylor is actually admiration.
She has found balance in her life in ways that most of us are still working on.
Balance then shows up as a strong sense of integrity towards her goals and towards her values.
And this is what we call living in alignment.
And it’s what we all really want, because it is what creates the inner happiness that we are all searching for.
So in summary my friends:
1. Stop searching for work-life balance and instead, identify one small step that you can take to balance what you have to do with more things that you want to do
2. Identify where you may have an energy imbalance and choose one or two small action-steps that you can take to create inner energetic balance
And if you’re struggling to know what to do next, feel free to reach out for a 30-minute free discovery session.
Molly is a Self-discovery & Transformation coach, who works with women who feel lost and unfulfilled, and who are ready to rediscover themselves. She helps women identify what they really want, create motivation towards their goals, feel inspired about their lives, and build a life that is truly authentic to them!
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